The World According to Bryson

As he ages, Bry is developing more and more opinions about the world, its inhabitants, and its inner workings. Tell him something works one way and he'll chew on it for a moment before swallowing it or spitting it out. For the past couple of weeks I've been trying to explain to Bry what Steve and I do all day long at our jobs, so that he can try to more concretely picture us while he's at school. Formulating explanations of "teacher" and "counselor" to Bry's uninitiated mind has been somewhat of a challenge. "Teacher" is easier, because Bry has had contact with teachers. But trying to translate his conception of teachers to Steve's job in 2-year-old language has been amusing. Basically, I told Bry that daddy is a teacher, but he teaches big kids. The big kids sit in desks and daddy stands at the front of the room. Daddy talks a lot and the kids write down everything he says. Oh, and every once in awhile he starts a fire in his classroom during "labs."

Explaining "counselor" has involved more obstacles. I tell Bry that I go to my office at Augsburg College. Then we have a side conversation about what Augsburg College is. And then what a college is (it's a school for grown-ups, in case you're wondering). "Then," I tell him, "I talk with people who have problems. I try to help them with their problems." "What are problems?" he asks. "Well, for example, if someone is sad, I try to help them not be sad." This is basically what I do, no? When we had the conversation again this morning, Bry apparently was not satisfied with my job description. After I had finished, he responded, "No. Mama not do that." "What do you think I do at work?" "You push buttons! And you spin around and around!"

Um, sure. Just don't tell my boss.

I crack myself up!